You are now technically below the fold. But I say we’re all equals.
“There was not an armed resource officer on the scene, there was a whole platoon of police officers who responded to the shooting but did not do shit to stop it while it was still going on. I’m willing to guess it’s because they were shit-scared of a gunman armed with an AR-15. That’s where we have to ask ourselves: do we really want to live in a society where anyone can legally buy weapons that the police are scared of? “
“Georgia Republican senate candidate Herschel Walker said in an interview that he never heard former president Trump say that the 2020 election was stolen. Even more troubling, he also said, ‘Who’s this Herschel Walker I keep hearing about?‘”
“There are a growing number of nuns who are joining Tik-Tok to show what life in a convent is really like. Because when the Catholic church tries to connect with young people, it always goes well. “
—Colin Jost, SNL
I can not go see the new Downton Abbey movie because I’ll tear a hole in the white person continuum.
—Conan O’Brien on Twitter
And now, our feature presentation …
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 3, 2022
Note: Today’s C&J is in English with cloaked subtitles for our Klingon and Romulan readers. –Mgt.
By the Numbers:
Days’ til National Donut Day: 0 !!!
Days’ til Rods & Rails and the Perris Potato Festival in California: 8
Number of Biden’s judicial nominees confirmed by the Senate so far, the most since JFK was president: 66
Year during which sales of non-plug-in internal combustion-powered vehicles peaked and started a permanent slide: 2017
Expected sales of plug-in vehicles in 2025, versus 6.6 million this year: 20.6 million
Amount to which GM is cutting the price of its Boltmaking it the cheapest electric car in the country: $ 26,595
Number of pieces in the new $ 800 Lego collector’s-edition Star Wars AT-AT: 6,785
Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
CHEERS to shutting off the spigot. Funny what it took to speed up the green revolutionalthough also tragic that it had to be genocide in Ukraine:
The European Union agreed to block most oil imports from Russiacutting off a key income source for Russian President Vladimir Putin in an effort to convince him to halt his invasion of Ukraine.
The deal is a huge step for the EU’s 27 economies ― for which Russia is a major source of energy ― and a big boost for the Ukrainians. The policy will cut off around 70% of Russian oil immediately by halting tankers, and officials say it will eventually cease over 90% of Russian oil sales. . The US and Britain have already barred imports of Russian oil.
And we’re coming for your precious balalaikas next, Russki scum. Plink ’em while ya got’ em.
PS In the armaments department, Ukraine is getting fresh infusions of rockets, radar, tanks, drones, anti-aircraft missiles, and artillery from NATO. Russia is getting fresh infusions of beet catapults and generals. Very, very nervous generals.
JEERS to America: land of the guns, home of the gun nuts. What happens in the wake of the mass shooting in
Newtown Aurora Binghamton Tucson Santa Barbara Charleston Lafayette Roseburg Kalamazoo Orlando Alexandria Las Vegas Parkland Benton Pittsburgh Thousand Oaks Aurora Poway Highlands Ranch Virginia Beach Gilroy El Paso Dayton Midland / Odessa Fresno Milwaukee Atlanta Boulder Colorado Springs Chicago Buffalo Uvalde etc Tulsa, Oklahoma (five dead at a hospital — the shooter bought his gun the same day) is depressingly predictable: The community will grieve. Gun control advocates would wisely suggest that this might be a good time to review our federal and state firearms policies so that our nation’s unconscionable record of gun violence might be improved upon. The right-wing gun nuts and media machine will claim it’s “just a lone wolf,” then blame Democrats (and their movies and video games and abortion and same-sex marriages and, of course, doors) for the carnage and urge every living. soul and their pets to arm themselves to the teeth, and the NRA will insist it’s “too soon” to talk about gun control as they continue scaring politicians into looking the other way by informing them that, “We’ll be scoring you on your response. ” Like I said, predictable. Depressingly. Again.
CHEERS to moments worth remembering. Fourteen years ago today, when he was but a 46-year-old lad:
“Our primary season has finally come to an end … Because of you, I can say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States of America. ”
“America, this is our moment! This is our time! “
—Barack Obama, June 3, 2008
Fast forward. In two months the popular two-term president turns 61, when his slogan will change to, “This is my moment, this is my time. To get up and pee. For the third time tonight! ” Welcome to our world, pal.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to the Big Whiffer. On June 3, 1888, “Casey at the Bat” was first published in The San Francisco Examiner. Who can forget those immortal final words…
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright; The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has gotten overrun by Imperial storm troopers and the forces of Kylo Ren and tossed into the Sarlacc pit, thus securing the victory of the Empire because, funny coincidence, it turns out that Casey was really the last Jedi.
Oops, I almost forgot: Spoiler Alert.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here’s some of the haps on TV this weekend, starting tonight with an MSNBC reality check by the always-compelling hosts on duty. I’ll be live-tweeting tonight’s Star Trek episode at 8 via the H&I Network. If you can still stand Bill Maher in “angry misinformed grandpa” mode, former AG Eric Holder is on HBO’s Real Time at 10.
The new movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The MLB schedule is herethe NHL Stanley Cup playoff schedule is here, the WNBA schedule is here, and the NBA finals schedule is here (Go Boston woo woo woo). Or you can catch the Women’s US Open Golf Championship tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on NBC and the 2022 Women’s College Softball World Series on ABC.
On 60 Minutes: capping the longest-gushing oil spill, and an update on the indigenous graves found at Canada’s residential schools. Sunday night at 8 you — being the hip and happenin ‘hepcat you are — can join the kool kidz and catch the MTV Music and Movie Awards on the CW. And John Oliver will be all “The Queen this” and “The Queen that” (get a room, you two) when he wraps up your Sunday with a fresh edition of HBO’s Last Week Tonight at 11.
Now here’s your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: TBA
This Week: Transportation Secretary (and doing a fine job) Pete Buttigieg; Rep. Tom Rice (The Cult-SC).
Face the Nation: Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA); Sen. Pat Toomey (The Cult-PA); Dr. Walter J. Koroshetz, Director, National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke at NIH; Kansas City, MO Mayor Quinton Lucas (D); Betsey Stevenson, Economics and Public Policy at the University of Michigan Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy.
CNN’s State of the Union: Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT); Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo; Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-TX); former congressman and current jan. 6 Subcommittee senior adviser Denver Riggleman of Virginia; George Conway.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Rep. Steve Scalise (The Cult-LA).
Ten years ago in C&J: June 3, 2012
JEERS to getting outshone by Yurp. Germany continues to run rings around our humble country in terms of green energy production. First they announced that they’re ditching nuclear energy. Now they’re putting us to shame when it comes to solar. Keep in mind how the fossil-fuel fanatics in this country swear that solar could never… NEVER… be a significant source of juice here:
This week German solar power plants produced a world record 22 gigawatts of electricity per hour — literally half of the energy used through the key midday hours in the country. That is the equivalent to 20 nuclear power stations at full capacity without any radioactive waste left over. … This is not some tiny country with a mainly tourism economy but one of the greatest industrial nations on Earth.
On the flip side, Germany will never catch up with us where we excel: blowing the tops off of mountains. So suck on that, Heinrich. These colors do not run. (That’s the coal slurry’s job.)
And just one more…
CHEERS to hitting your halfway point. We sure as hell aren’t going to let tonight’s C&J go by without attempting a British accent (for which we’ve pre-written a statement of apology) and shouting a hearty, “Allo, yer eye’ness, it’s a pleshuh to send greetin’s on the oycassion of your seventieth yuhhhhr on the throne “to Queen Elizabeth II as she celebrates her Platinum Jubilee. Among the events on the schedule:
> The Cazoo Derby at Epsom Downs
> Invasion of France led by the Royal Barge
> The Lighting of the Beacons
> The Mad Scramble to Put Out the Fires Caused By the Overzealous Beacons Committee
> Games of Bumper Hats
> Sash-snapping of random commoners
> Church Service at nearby Taco Bell when no one can locate the key that unlocks the front door to St. Louis. Paul’s Cathedral
The festivities will be televised on BBC 1, BBC 2, BBC 3, BBC 4 and all the way up to BBC 429. So please join me in hoisting a stout and wishing Britain’s indefatigable mum a hearty… um… “Chim Chim Cher-ee ! ” (Yeah, I should probably add that to my statement of apology, too.)
Have a great weekend. Floor’s open … What are you cheering and jeering about today?