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Eighteen years of polling consistently shows that C&J makes Daily Kos feel like the best kind of neighborhood bar: the kind that opens at 7:50 in the morning. Thanks for tossing some coin in the tip jar. Meanwhile, here’s …
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 16, 2022
Note: A reminder that tomorrow is Eat Your Vegetables Day. Santa Claus has been monitoring you for compliance via a fichus plant spycam and putting your name on the appropriate list for future reference. If you really want to see that Hammacher Schlemmer hovercraft under the tree in six months, we suggest you get chompin ‘. Especially on the kohlrabi. You’re way behind on your kohlrabi. —Mgt.
By the Numbers:
Days’ til summer: 5
Days’ til Coffee Fest Chicago: 7
Minimum number of publicly-traded companies that saw their profit margins rise last year, compared to the pre-pandemic average, even as inflation surged: 2,000
Percent of Americans polled by a University of Chicago research group who believe women should be able to have an abortion for any reason, up from 44% in 2014: 57%
Percent chance that Joe Biden will “Be the most pro-union president in history,” according to Joe Biden during a speech to the AFL-CIO: 100%
Number of the 4,900 employees at cryptocurrency exchange Coinbase who are being laid off as digital currency continues its slide: 1,000
Percent chance that K-Pop band BTS is breaking up so members can pursue solo projects: 100%
Years, as of yesterday, since my partner Michael smoked his last cigarette: 14
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
“We believe these truths to be self-evident, that all men (and women) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. … That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it … “
After 200 years, that statement is still so revolutionary people all over the world are willing to die for it. They died in South Africathey died at Tiananmen Squareand they’re dying today in Myanmar. A lot of Americans have died to preserve those ideas: Do not throw them away out of boredom or cynicism or inanition.
“There’s nothing I can do about it. “If the last election did not teach you that every vote counts, you may want to consider assisted living. Of course, you do not have as much say in this country as the people who give big money to the politicians – but that can be fixed. As an American living today, your one vote means you have more political power than 99 percent of all the people who ever lived on this planet. Think about it: Who ever had this much power? A peasant in ancient Egypt? A Roman slave? A medieval shoemaker? A French farmer? Your grandfather? Why throw power away? Use it. Leverage it.
Puppy Pic of the Day: Yes, Swiffers can fly…
CHEERS to Day 3. After the cancellation of yesterday’s Jan. 6 hearings because the committee’s video editors can only work so fast, co-chairs Bennie Thompson and Liz Cheney will be back in their seats this afternoon (1pm eastern) to continue revealing the lengths to which the Republican party went to destroy. America. Here’s a preview of today’s theme, which involves a length of rope, a slipknot, and the previous vice president’s neck. Worth your time for the clip of a Trump lawyer whose words could’ve been written by Aaron Sorkin:
Fearless prediction of today’s proceedings: probably not a lot of gallows humor.
JEERS to stupid, endless wars. Here’s a quick update on what’s going on in Ukraine these days. Basically, the Ukrainians continue using superior weaponry, tactics, and morale to wreak havoc on the Russians. The Russian horde, cockroaches that they are, have superior numbers so they can just keep on comin ‘. So it’s back-and-forth at the moment. Meanwhile, the civilized world continues to inflict massive pain on Russia’s economy, forcing them to subsist on potatoes and wipe their butts in their crude outhouses with pages torn out of Vladimir Lenin’s bestseller, Do Not Use These Pages To Wipe Your Butt In Outhouse I’m Warning You. Oh, and the hoity-toity class has a pointed word for Crazy Vlad: “Bye!”
Millionaires are leaving Russia in droves after the country invaded Ukraine and the West imposed sanctions. […]
Andrew Amoils, head of research at analytics company New World Wealth, which contributed data to the report, said Russia was “hemorrhaging millionaires.”
“Wealth migration figures are a very important gauge of the health of an economy,” he told CNN Business.
“If one looks at any major country collapse in history, it is normally preceded by a migration of wealthy people away from that country,” he added.
This year exodus of millionaires is expected to be more than nine times that of 2021, Henley & Partners’ data shows.
And to those fleeing the country with their wealth I’d just like to say: you’re welcome to stay in our guest room as long as you’d like. Rent is normally $ 1 million a month, but we’ll give you a 50-percent “good world citizen” discount. Jewels accepted in lieu of cash. No crypto, please. Rent includes free unlimited dog and cat hair.
JEERS to the difference between then and now. 89 years ago today, Congress passed the bulk of FDR’s ambitious “New Deal” program. When faced with his own economic calamity 75 years later (no thanks to his asleep-at-the-switch predecessor), our first Black president was met with a wall of GOP resistance in the pursuit of one goal: making him fail. But it was a bit different back in 1933:
Raymond Moley, a member of FDR’s “brain trust,” said many lawmakers “had forgotten to be Republicans or Democrats” as they dealt with the burgeoning crisis.
Sen. Hiram Johnson (R-Calif.) Said: “The admirable trait in Roosevelt is that he has the guts to try. … He does it all with the rarest good nature. Have We have exchanged for a frown in the White House a smile. Where there were hesitation and vacillation, weighing always the personal political consequences, feebleness, timidity and duplicity, there are now courage and boldness and real action. “
The Democrats’ New Deal was necessary, visionary, humane, functional, morale-boosting, and focused on the downtrodden. Exactly what Republicans like to propose, minus the vision, humanity, functionality, morale boost, or focus on the downtrodden. (But we hear billionaires give it a big Thumbs-Dipped-in-Gold Up.)
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to four more years of …him. On June 16, 1932President Herbert Hoover was nominated for a second term at the Republican National Convention in Chicago. It was a lackluster affair, as evidenced by the convention’s official slogan: “We’re Screwed.” (But it sure looked swell on the bumpers of their Packards.)
CHEERS to today’s edition of You Still Want To Start Another Civil War, MAGA Motherf * ckers? NBC News:
[T]he sale of guns to Black Americans rose 58 percent in 2020 — the year George Floyd was murdered by a Minnesota police officer … the highest bump in gun sales of any ethnic group that year.
Further, in the first quarter of 2021, another NSSF report revealed 90 percent of gun retailers reported a general increase of Black customers, including an 87 percent increase among Black women.
“And you wonder why?” said Moody, who works for the federal government. “You look at Buffalo and the feeling of ‘This could have been me’ is there. We could be the next target. And when it’s you, what are you going to do? Are you going to run and hide? Or are you going to be able to protect yourself? Protect your family? I did not want a gun; I’m not a gun person. But this world has made me get one. Getting one for my wife next. ”
This has been today’s edition of You Still Want To Start Another Civil War, MAGA Motherf * ckers?
Ten years ago in C&J: June 16, 2012
JEERS to a good walk self-spoiled. Earlier this week I read that some dude from West Virginia was shot in Montana while he was hitchhiking across the country gathering stories for a planned book called “Kindness in America.” He even identified the shooter to the cops, who was promptly arrested and booked. But then they let the suspect go. Because it turns out the budding author had shot himself to gin up cheap (if painful) publicity. He apparently still plans to write the book. Look for it in the fiction section. Really cheap fiction.
And just one more…
CHEERS to fond- “ish” farewells. Please be seated. Let us bow our heads as Ryan Grenoble at Huffington Post delivers today’s eulogy…
Fellow surfers of web 2.0, we’re gathered here today to say goodbye to a browser that was loved and hated in equal measure.
On Wednesday, June 15, 2022Microsoft will formally retire Internet Explorer (pejorative: Internet Exploder) at the ripe old age of 27. It was preceded in death by MS Paint.
Presumably, the browser will be sent to a farm upstate, where it can spend the rest of its days running security vulnerabilities and leaking all the memory it wants. […]
Internet Explorer is survived by Microsoft Edge, a younger sibling born in 2015.
Thank you. That was beautiful. And now…last one to the buffet table’s a rotten egg.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor’s open … What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
Coca-Cola is partnering with Bill in Portland Maine to make a new canned cocktail combining Coke and Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool water. The drink, which also will be available in a zero-algae option, is hitting shelves in Daily Kos later this year before expanding globally.